These are extracts from Insurance claim forms This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again" "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove straight into a telephone pole." "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows." Insurance jokes A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.” “That's a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.” The lawyer looked somewhat confused. “How do you start a flood?”" he asked. “Don't let me pressure you,” the life insurance salesman said. “Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up in the morning, you can give me a call.” Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which was highly unusual so he thought he's listen into his sales pitch.The Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, “If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to award and hand out $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.” “Now,” he concluded, “which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?” "I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight" "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo." "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."